Dirge to Love

Dear Buffer,



DIRGE TO LOVE



Never thought I'd be  back here again, at the cross-roads, torn between fight and flight. My better judgment says to the right, but my feet turn to the left. It’s just hard to choose and you don’t make the decision any easier. But I am afraid to lose, and now my vision is getting foggier.

I hate this; I hate this whole being a man thing where I have to be responsible for myself kind of thing, cause when I trip and fall, I feel just as much as anyone else, but decisions have to be made and each
consequence dealt with.

So I’m back here again, at this point I know so well, it’s déjà vu, and nothing has changed in the view. Funny, I have a keepsake of those yesteryears, times of pain, sorrow and many tears. So, as I turn to flee, I hope to God my feet don’t fail me, because weighing the options leave me with no option, no choice, just a singular voice, one that has never failed me and Oh God don’t let it derail me.

Because the thoughts of that year leave me trepid and in fear, times when I was left in the loom of gloom, a man jaded whose happiness had just faded and the pain in my chest left me unable to rest, when I opened my mouth to cry, I realized all, breath and tears had forsaken me; being barely able to sigh. Days when the longing for the warmth of another were replaced by a need for a pat from any other and you stand here asking me to choose, calling me a quitter when you’re the one who has got nothing to lose!!!

But I don’t blame you, it’s true, you’re just a gal singing “skip to my luu” , and I’m just a guy with a year’s more experience than you. So we’re not going to stick together like glue and with all my ego I still don’t know how to let go, so, before we go one last round on this not so merry go round of turning tables, of ‘I said this’ and ‘you said that’ and many countless fables and misconstrued tales just know I’m running with between my legs a tail; coward, a sentiment you’ve always felt me-ward.

But with each footstep forward trotting, my heart is in an opposite direction jogging, and though we’re distance apart, yet in thought, we’re suffocating tight, because you call and then we talk from day to dawn, and when I wake with an early morning yawn, it’s you that my mind is on. So damn it, you’re making it hard for me to move on, I guess I’m just waiting till you’re long gone, when your sweet scent no longer forces a sentiment and the vision of your smile no longer makes it worth-while all the while.

Know I’ll be missing you more, even “forever and a day more”.



Never really yours,
 
Boo boo.