Searching......

You try your best, but ends up being the worst.

When all works you down, leaves you with nothing but a frown.

It’s hard not to keel over, and just get run over.

Harder not to succumb, when the situation just leaves you dumb and all you want is to go numb.

So you put up that wall, hoping it never does fall.

Then you’re just left to stall........

Left stalling the inevitable; the most probable.

A scratch and a nick, the clocks go ‘tick tick’.

The works and antics of time, leaves you with the sour taste of lime.

........................

So you back back up, and trace where you let up;

that guard ever so dear, ultimately leaving you with a tear.

 So you build and build bigger hoping it might just be tougher.

Boundaries defined clearly, for all and sundry,

defence systems; valuable as empty cisterns.

The futility of your efforts to safeguard your forts and avoid fiery darts,

is betrayed by your inner-longing, and constant romanticising,

by the self-same builder; just another loner.

A hopeless romantic, just frantic;

frantic to let down and let in,

drawn in and now your ship is capsizin’.

So you’re back to square one, with your heart even more stunned,

 wondering, just left wandering........

blown and tossed to and fro, left with no strength to resist the flow..............

.........................

But you find that one, who makes you hope this’ the last one,

Slightly off the mark of perfection, leaving you with no question,

no doubt, just one thought and a secret feeling in your heart.....

It’s he, or rather, she..........

Random thougts

What to write on?....shhhh prrrrrrrrr.........

Lacking inspiration.....

What is it to begin with? Is it that thought provoking or idea inceptive whim?

Some sort of experience that questions our current outlook on life. Something to test our ‘thus-far’ understanding of what life consists. ‘Necessity is the mother of all inventions.’ I guess some of the greatest literary works came from the most intense and darkest emotions. I guess whatever we do is some sort of self-expression, a revelation of who we are internally. I guess it’s why we love musicians and music, their natural gifts of expression leave us thinking we are not alone in this world, just look at all the music awards, those that sweep them are usually the most emotive or poignant and pregnant with feelings. Our favourite songs are those that speak or reveal some experience we’ve once been through. The power of identification, empathy or sometimes just sympathy is yet to be understood; we’ve only scratched the surface, naturally we all just share this innate bond of humanity, this common understanding that our experiences are not isolated incidents, we share them together as part of what is supposed to be a normal life, we’ve all been disappointed, we’ve all been heart-broken, we’ve all felt the joys of gain or the grief of loss, loved the warmth of an embrace, the bliss of new love, the death of old or just been elevated by a longed-for smile; generally the vicissitudes of life really, the fact that some of these phrases sound banal reveals they are common experiences to all. I guess opposites do not always attract; at least with people. We bond over shared experiences all the while thinking, “He’s just like me” or “she’s just like me”, we love the reflections of ourselves in others and so much unspeakable so, a piece of us propagated through the masses and the more we find that we are alike the more in love we fall; just narcissistic tendencies really, we seem to fall for ourselves. We are so in love with our images we specifically look for it in others and call it ‘similarities’.

I guess that’s just the effect of being born human; no man is an island, we don’t stand alone and would rather stand with someone just like us; a higher probability of survival and accuracy in self-reproduction through the ages, really we are all programmed that way, just looking to survive. Looking to wake up the next morning with the sun rise and go back to bed with the sunset, from dusk to dawn we do just that; survive, at least at the core that’s what we all do and somehow we’ve been deceived into thinking it will just be easier with someone next to us. I guess it’s just an inner longing, some sort of evolutionary programming, even creationists agree; “It is not good for man to be alone.”Serves as explanation enough for the question of why are all the majority of songs written with the inspiration of some sort of social interaction.

We sometimes deceive ourselves into thinking our lives do not revolve around people when our every single experience of living consists of another person other than ourselves, we do not wake up in the mornings and walk into empty streets or turn our TV’s on to blank screens, the most parts of our lives are made up of people and in turn people make our lives, our experiences are not with ourselves but are with people, the emotions we feel do not come out of a vacuum. The muse of an experience is then that, the people involved. Our inspirations from an experience come from the persons involved.